Credit: linda_lomelino

"If it is to be, it is up to me!"

Everyone always tells me how strong I am, but I don’t understand what makes me so strong

I always had coping mechanisms, but I took the easiest way out and went for an instant fix. The fact that I chose to recover means that I wanted to fight. Not picking recovery and continuing to self harm would have been the easy choice, instead, I chose the battle and the fight.

Right now I’m regressing to all the bad choices I’ve ever made. Seeing Nikos scars while in the shower is making me so hung up on my past with self harm and my drunken lapse last April.